Episode 17

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Published on:

26th Mar 2026

How To Quit People Pleasing (And Why It's So Hard)

Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no? Do you find yourself over-giving, always putting other people first, managing other people's emotions, always "going with the flow" and never speaking up for yourself?

In this episode we are talking about people pleasing, why we do it, why it's so hard to quit, and some ways that we can start to change our patterns.

Episode Notes... (practice awareness)

Step One: Practice the PAUSE. Start to notice when you are saying yes on autopilot. And ask yourself: "Do I actually want to do this? Or am I doing this because I feel obligated"

Step Two: Understand that it's OKAY to disappoint other people. You WILL disappoint other people, especially when you are changing your patterns. You have to remember that disappointing other people is not an emergency.

Step Three: Practice tiny acts of honesty. Speak up about the little things. What you want to do, what you want to eat...practice making your needs equal to everyone else's. YOU MATTER. So be honest

Journal Prompts:

  1. How do you feel like people pleasing has affected your life?
  2. When do you think your people pleasing patterns began?
  3. What would your life look like if you started putting yourself first?
  4. What am I most afraid of, by letting go of pleasing others?

The Party On Podcast is a personal development, mindset focused show. Our goal is to bring the good things in life, like happiness and joy, back to the forefront. With topics like mindfulness, mental health and positive daily habits, we encourage you to live your best life, episode by episode.

Reach out and say hello! Or contact us with topic requests at allisonaars@gmail.com.

Want to join the party? Follow us on Instagram @thepartyonpodcast. And...

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About the Podcast

The Party On Podcast: Finding The Joy In The Middle Of Life's Chaos
How to balance life's ups and downs, and start living on your own joyful terms.
Let’s face it, life isn’t always the party we thought it would be. So how to we find the JOY when we need it? And what if it’s up to us to create it? That’s where the party on podcast comes in. Our goal? To shine the proverbial disco light on the things that can make our lives easier, healthier, and a heck of a lot more FUN. So we can ENJOY the party we were all invited to, live our best lives, and dance like no one is watching.

Hi, I'm Allison. But my friends called me Alli. And I'm a self-proclaimed joy-a-holic. Does that mean I'm happy all the time? Nope! It just means I've learned how to prioritize seeking it, even when life gets hard. I fully believe that joy should be our baseline, and as we get older and life gets harder...we tend to lose our ability to access it. So here, we talk about how to find it again. We share tips on how to get through hard seasons, how to (finally) get the courage to pursue our dreams, how to stop worrying about what other people think of us, and so much more. In other words, we get all the pesky roadblocks out of the way so that joy can take centerstage, where it rightfully belongs. Just think of me as your personal hype girl. Disco ball and all.

So grab your headphones, go for a walk (because, dopamine) and have a listen. I promise you'll be inspired.

About your host

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Alli Aars

Alli is a podcaster, mother, and CEO of The Festive Farm Co. But honestly, none of those hats qualify her to host a podcast on JOY. Those qualifications come from experiencing life's ups and downs, a good solid therapist, and a God-given desire to spread the party wherever she goes. She also loves laughing and donuts (in that order).